Spoiler Alert: My Romantic Vision of an Italian Kitchen Was a Lie
If you’ve ever romanticized about Italian kitchens, Picture this: a massive island with double ovens, shiny stainless-steel appliances, and open shelves filled with olive oil bottles and fresh herbs. I mean, Italians love food, right? So naturally, they must have enormous kitchens with all the bells and whistles! Turns out, the “mega-kitchen” dream is strictly an American thing. Ironically, in Italy, where people still cook every day, kitchens are typically small and practical – the kind where you can open the fridge and stir a pot without taking more than one step. Meanwhile, in the U.S., we spend more time eating takeout than using those high-end appliances.
But enough of that – let me tell you how our kitchen journey took a turn for the chaotic.
First Impressions: Grottos, Dark Kitchens, and Bad Layouts
After closing on the house in Abruzzo, we finally walked in, tape measure in hand, ready to start dreaming big. Our house is a three-story adventure. Our new house is divided into three floors. The first floor? Two massive grottos, carved deep into the mountain behind the house. (Yes, we own a literal cave.) It’s both mysterious and mildly terrifying. While it looks like a perfect setting for a Da Vinci Code subplot, I’m still undecided if we’ll use it for wine storage or hideouts during future zombie apocalypses. But that’s a story for another day.
The second floor housed the kitchen. Bigger than most kitchens in Italian homes, sure, but that’s not saying much. In Italy, “bigger” can mean “you can open the fridge door all the way without hitting a chair.” It was tucked away in a gloomy corner of the house, like it had been exiled from the sunlight for bad behavior. With outdated appliances and cabinets older than I care to admit, this kitchen begged for a makeover. Cue the soundtrack of impending doom.
Then, we went up to the third floor. Above the kitchen, we found a spacious bedroom with the exact same layout as the kitchen below. Here’s the catch: the bedroom opens onto a gorgeous terrace overlooking the surrounding countryside. I mean, this view alone was one of the biggest reasons we bought the house. We could already picture ourselves sipping wine with friends on that terrace, watching the sunset over the hills.
Here’s the problem: the only way to access the terrace was through the bedroom. So if we wanted to throw a dinner party or have drinks outside, we’d have to carry trays of food up two flights of stairs, through the bedroom, and then out to the terrace – while hoping no one decided to flop on our bed with their aperitivo. Yeah, no thanks.
Executive Decision: Move the Kitchen Upstairs
After some brainstorming, we made the boldest decision of the entire remodel: we were moving the kitchen to the third floor. It made perfect sense – we’d get a modern, bright kitchen with terrace access, and the bedroom could move down to the second floor. That way, guests wouldn’t need to traipse through private spaces to enjoy the view. Easy enough, right? Ha. If only.
The Not-So-Simple Plan: Digging, Drilling, and Improvising
On paper, it seemed straightforward: install a kitchen upstairs, hook up some pipes, run some wires, and boom – done. In reality, it was more like:
Drill through solid stone floors and walls that felt like they were designed to withstand medieval battles.
Rewiring the entire space from scratch was non-negotiable – the original wiring looked like it had been done by Spider-Man on a coffee bender. Cables crisscrossed everywhere, clinging to walls in tangled webs with no apparent logic or destination. It was a game of “guess where this wire leads,” and the answer was usually: nowhere useful.
Install plumbing where no pipes had gone before. And when I say “install plumbing,” I mean I became the plumber, the electrician, the architect, and the project manager all at once. Forget calling in professionals – I was the professional
The Joy of Discovery (and Chaos)
You’d think ripping apart a house would make you feel in control. It doesn’t. It makes you realize how many things are hiding beneath floors and walls. We discovered decisions that defied logic. At one point, I was running electrical lines and water pipes through the walls while simultaneously updating my mental blueprint on the fly. Picasso had nothing on me.
Our tools have taken over the entire house. Need a spoon? Sorry, it’s lost somewhere between a wrench and a wire cutter. The dining table is now an unofficial hardware store display – drill bits, screws, pliers, and some mystery tools that I swear just appeared out of nowhere.
The Evolving Vision: Changing Plans (Again… and Again)
Initially, we had a clear design in mind – sleek, open, and minimalist, with plenty of room to move around. No island, no fuss. But, like every ambitious remodel, reality had other ideas. What began as a simple open layout evolved into something much more dynamic.
At first, we swore off having an island altogether – after all, we wanted an airy, clutter-free space. But halfway through, inspiration (or madness) struck. We realized that a working island could be the perfect place for bread-making sessions. Just imagine: rolling dough in the morning, flour dusting the countertops, and the aroma of fresh loaves filling the air. Suddenly, not having an island felt like a missed opportunity. So, we pivoted, adding it to the design.
We’re still working out the light situation – At first, we thought a few simple fixtures would do the trick, but the deeper we got into the design, the more complicated it became. Pendant lights over the island? Sure, but what about under-cabinet lighting for those early-morning coffee runs? And wouldn’t dimmers create just the right ambiance for evening gatherings? Suddenly, we were down a rabbit hole of LED strips, smart bulbs, and lighting zones. Now, every conversation seems to end with, “But is that enough light?” or “Do we need more warmth there?” It’s as if creating the perfect lighting plan has become a quest – and we’re not quite ready to give up the search.
Dust, Dine, and Optimism
The dust is relentless. No matter how much we sweep, it’s back by morning. And since the kitchen is still a construction zone, we’ve embraced eating out at the incredible restaurants around us. Every meal feels like a well-earned escape from the chaos at home. We’ve become so familiar with the places nearby that the waitstaff now greet us with a cheerful “Ciao!” the moment we walk through the door. Honestly, who needs a fully functioning kitchen when delicious meals and friendly faces are just a short stroll away?
Despite the chaos, there’s something deeply satisfying about the process. Every hole drilled, every wire run, every piece of flooring laid brings us one step closer to our dream. It’s messy, frustrating, and exhausting, but we’re building something unique – a space that’s entirely ours. And with every new addition, we can picture the end result more clearly.
Looking Ahead: The Light at the End of the Remodel
We’re not there yet, but we’re getting close. One day soon, the dust will settle, the tools will go back into storage, and our new kitchen will finally take shape. We’ll be able to cook in our new kitchen, perfectly connected to the terrace, making it easy to step outside and enjoy the view while preparing meals. Guests can seamlessly move from the kitchen to the terrace without the awkward detour through a bedroom, creating a much smoother and more inviting experience for everyone.
Sure, it’s taken longer and cost more than we initially planned – which is pretty much the unofficial motto of home renovations everywhere – but we know it’ll be worth it.
One day soon, we’ll be sitting on that terrace with friends, sipping wine, watching the sun set over the hills, and laughing about the time we thought moving a kitchen between floors was going to be a quick and easy project. Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned through all of this, it’s that the best things in life – much like good Italian cooking – take time, patience, and just a little bit of chaos.
Stay tuned for Part Two: “Why We Now Own 47 Different Types of Screws and Still Can’t Find the Right One.”
