Dialing Disaster: The Italian Phone Fiasco
First up in our Italian escapade is acquiring a phone number, which, as it turns out, is as crucial as an espresso machine in an Italian household. You might think snagging a SIM card is no biggie, right? Wrong again! An Italian phone number is essential for setting up all utilities in Italy. The reason you can buy a SIM card but can’t activate it or secure a phone number from abroad is thanks to the Anti-Racketeering Act, which apparently prioritizes combatting crime over convenience. A month later, while attempting to activate it on vacation in England and Scotland, we learned the hard way that European proximity does not equal Italian connectivity. Still no luck.
Of course, during our initial closing in Italy, we only had three days to obtain the codice fiscale and sign the papers. At that time, we didn’t realize that to turn on the utilities, we needed an Italian phone number and had to be physically in Italy to activate it—a detail we only discovered upon returning to the USA.
The Money Pit: Arrival and Astonishment
Four months after acquiring what we affectionately dubbed “the money pit,” we found ourselves back in Italy, still sans SIM card and utilities. Armed with a used phone that had been recently upgraded for the kids, we finally snagged a SIM card and a functioning phone number right at the Rome airport. Thus equipped, we embarked on the drive to our town, which turned out to be less of a commute and more of an epic odyssey through a living postcard.
As we navigated the winding roads, our journey was a continuous reel of cinematic scenes. We passed through quaint villages where life seemed paused in a simpler time, and vineyards stretched across rolling hills like the patchwork of a meticulously sewn quilt. Ancient ruins stood proudly, their weathered stones whispering tales of yore, while towering mountains loomed in the distance, their peaks dusted with the last of the winter snows, offering a majestic backdrop that seemed to shift with every turn in the road.
Every turn and tunnel revealed a new vista, each more breathtaking than the last. We drove through landscapes dotted with olive groves, picturesque farmhouses perched on hillsides, and fields ablaze with the vibrant reds and yellows of wildflowers. The natural beauty was so overwhelming that it made our necks sore from swiveling to take it all in, our eyes hardly believing the idyllic beauty that framed every aspect of our journey toward what we hoped would become our dream home—though it felt more like a scene from a fantasy film than any reality we knew.
The Secret Buyers: Arrival and Intrigue
Upon arrival, we aired out our soon-to-be home and, standing outside, messaged our Airbnb host that we were nearby, providing him with the address. Curiosity piqued, he came walking over to find us and personally guide us to the Airbnb. As we walked, the confusion on his face was unmistakable. When we explained we were at that specific address because we had bought a house, he exclaimed, I thought I was going to invite others to buy in our lovely town, but you guys already did!” Apparently, buying property in Italy usually involves the entire town in the process, and we had somehow managed to bypass the local grapevine with our stealth approach.
Battery-Powered Renovations: A Comedy of Errors
With no power in our new home, we turned to battery-operated tools. The reason we picked our particular Airbnb was its proximity to our house, crucial since our plan was to charge the tool batteries there.
This meant daily expeditions to a hardware store—a mere 30 minutes away—only to later discover several were hiding in plain sight, not listed on Google. Some locals had mentioned them, but we hesitated, imagining these to be tiny, antiquated shops. Our DIY saga was filled with trips back and forth to recharge batteries, resembling a slapstick routine of high hopes and low power. Like kids in a new playground without their ADHD medication, of course, we sidewinded a lot—every trip turned into a treasure hunt, discovering new things and spotting items we might use in the future.
Water, Wine, Power, and Woes: The Utilities Saga
Turning on utilities became a farcical adventure involving multiple failed attempts until a providential dinner in Navelli. Our Airbnb host casually mentioned that a local utility worker with all necessary paperwork was dining with them. By 10:30 p.m., after a few glasses of wine, our utilities were officially set up. If only we had known that all bureaucratic processes in Italy were better lubricated with wine!
Burst Pipes and Best Mornings: The Continuation of Chaos
Just when we thought we’d triumphed, the day came to turn on our water, and our main water pipe spectacularly burst, proving that having power doesn’t guarantee water. The promised quick fix stretched into days, with “next week” becoming a mystical time frame known only to the commune. Our third morning started with a surprise—workers actually fixing the pipe! It was almost too good to be true.
Mold, Friends, and Family: The Unexpected Gifts
Our ongoing battle with the plumbing has turned our grotto/cave into a mold paradise, ensuring that our renovation adventure is dampened but not defeated. After the commune finally fixed their pipes and water was restored, all our old pipes raised a white flag in defeat, transforming into small showers and adding to the list of fixes needed. This has set the stage for another future task: tackling the mold that has flourished in there. Meanwhile, the owners of our Airbnb have evolved from hosts to heroes, guiding us through every hiccup and becoming family. Their unwavering support has been the silver lining in our tumultuous Italian renovation cloud. If you are reading this, from the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for everything you’ve done to help us navigate this journey.
In the end, if you’re thinking about purchasing that charming but slightly crumbling villa in Italy, remember it’s not just a building project—it’s a full-blown lifestyle overhaul. It requires an Italian phone number, a hefty dose of humor and maybe a robust supply of local wine to navigate the renovation rapids. With a bit of luck, you’ll also find a community that turns neighbors into family, making every unexpected turn worth it. Saluti to that!
